Welcome to the handcrafted sentence emporium. Where, for just $20, you can purchase your very own artisanal sentence. Custom-made in Boston or San Francisco.

the skinny

Own a custom sentence crafted just for you. Just request (as in pre-pay for) a sentence from one of our hand-crafting specialists – Erin Kate Ryan, William Moore, Virginia Lee Borges or Ron MacLean – and we'll deliver. Watch for special-offer sentences from our travel destinations (surcharge applies). Got a particular travel destination from which you'd like a handcrafted sentence? You can fund a journey!

We offer free translation of Scottish sentences, and offer guidelines for sentences crossing international borders. (No baggage fees!)

the caveats

• Customer has no control over topic or content of the sentences. It'll be a surprise!
• $5 surcharge for sentences involving goats or bologna
• Negotiable fee for correspondence with sentence crafters
• All sentences purchased remain on loan to us for display in our sentence gallery



flying with your sentence

  • Particularly wet sentences should be placed in a 3 oz container
  • Sharp sentences should be placed in checked luggage – do not attempt to carry on
  • Do not attempt to hide explosive sentences on your person


"This is a hand-crafted sentence."
– Al, accountant, Woonsocket, RI

Visit our clearance section for great deals on sentences with slight defects, or whose authenticity we cannot guarantee.